Can Anger be Healthy for our Kids?
I know anger can be super scary. Especially if you grew up in a home where yelling, slamming doors, or physical violence accompanied it. But what if I told you that anger can be HEALTHY for your kids? After all, anger is a normal emotion that everyone experiences. Even Jesus got angry sometimes!
Anger is actually VITAL for us to live a balanced life. If you were never angry would you quit that job that is making you miserable, confront that person making racist remarks, or set boundaries with your pushy mother-in-law? Just in the same way we need healthy ways to experience and express our anger, so do our kids.
Children who are forced to swallow their anger often end up turning it inwards and developing depression and even physical ailments like stomachaches. They often lack the ability to make forward movement in their lives and stand up for themselves in critical situations.
So that leads us to the next question: Can we make space for our child's anger? Can we release the story that is telling us that they are being disrespectful, that we have to shut it down RIGHT NOW, that we cannot tolerate one ounce of their anger or they will steamroll right over us?
What if we taught them it was okay to state their opinion, even forcefully, as long as it is respectful? What if we taught them it's okay to say, "Hey, I'm really angry. I need a break"? Yes, this will take time. Yes, they will get it wrong sometimes and cross the line. And that is where we come in and model the calm and respectful reframe they need.
I know this is not easy. As a former angry child who has struggled my entire life with regulating my emotions, I know you are undertaking massive work. I also know it has the power to rewrite your generational legacy.
That's why I created my Transforming Anger Workbook. I know that it takes support and resources to help our child manage their anger well and not be consumed with it. And I know we parents need help too. What's more, I believe we are completely capable of changing the dynamic in our homes!
Here's to us being the generation that normalizes healthy anger!
P.S. I've added a link at the bottom so you can my Transforming Anger workbook and start that change in your home today.