I've been watching the Olympics lately and I have been blown away by the dedication, passion, and teamwork involved.
With all the blood, sweat, and tears it has actually reminded me a lot of parenting too!
So of course, I want to share my parenting take-aways I have learned from watching the world's best athletes with you. So here we go:
1. Sometimes you are going to try your best and you're still not going to win gold. That doesn't make you any less of an athlete.
In the same way, not everyday you are going to be at your best parenting. You are going to slip, goof up, and fall flat on your face. Maybe you will yell or say something you regret. Maybe you will lecture when you should have listened. This doesn't make you a bad parent. This makes you human. Getting back up, taking a break, apologizing when you need to, and working to improve your parenting skills will be the ultimate determiners of your success.
2. Preparation while you are calm will help you in stressful moments. I know we don't think Simone Biles just got up there and performed with grace under pressure without practicing first. All of these athletes practiced in less stressful moments.
In the same way, you (and your child) can prepare for the inevitable stressful moments that come up. For example, by taking real tangible steps each day to regulate my nervous system, I can better prepare myself to stay calm when my kid loses it. If my child has anxiety in social situations I can also rehearse stressful or triggering moments with my child at home when they are calm before they have to face unpleasant scenarios at school with their classmates.
3. Olympians craft their skills over a period of YEARS. They often don't see the fruit of their labor until they have put untold hours in the gym.
Now I know no one wants to hear this, but breaking generational strongholds and learning new ways to relate to your kids takes time (especially if you grew up in less than ideal circumstances). It's not a one and done deal. This long process also applies to our children's emotional growth and maturity. I cannot expect my kids to be magically responsible at 10 years old. This period of time until my child is fully mature is the training ground, not the evaluation course.
4. Olympians show us just how capable we are as human beings. They run faster, swim longer, and defy gravity with their feats.
We need to know deep in our bones that our kids can learn emotional regulation, responsibility, and empathy for others. Especially our nuerodivergent kids! Just because it may be harder for them, or doesn't come naturally, it doesn't mean they can't do it. We just need to meet them where they are and guide them like the wisest most caring coach. We can encourage our kids to do their best without resorting to shaming or harsh punishments.
5. Self-esteem is earned, not given. Olympic athletes show us the pride and resilience we can develop when we do hard things and don't give up in the face of challenges.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but it is okay to require somethings of your children. In fact, you can significantly boost their self-confidence when you allow them to participate in household tasks and understand how invaluable they are to the team. Letting them spend the day in front of the screen might seem easier, but it doesn't help our kids develop the skills that make them feel strong and capable. Just like you would never accuse a coach of being mean for simply requiring their students to exercise, you are not a bad or mean parent for asking your child to help out. You may just need some assistance helping standing in your authority with kindness.
If you're ready to help your children excel in life and learn emotional regulation, resilience in the face of adversity, and sharpen your own mindset as well, I would love to be your coach.
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